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Approaching Second Drafts

Revision can be a confusing task. You already wrote the draft--what needs to be changed? You've already "done" the writing--what more can you do? You may not even see what needs to be improved. Perhaps you can fix up the grammar some.

As you approach writing your second draft, you must think in terms of revision--your first draft needs to be revised. Revision requires a different mindset as is discussed in "A Word or Two on the Writing Process" and in "Rethinking and Revision." One analogy to describe the writing process discussed in the guide on the writing process is to the Agile process Space X uses to develop its rockets. Each draft of our paper is a prototype, a beta version, and after the completion of each draft, we find the "failures" or weaknesses in the draft and seek to redesign and improve it for the next version (draft). Through this process of development, testing, and redesign, we continue to improve our piece of writing.

Think of Your Second Draft as the Development Draft
Before you dive into revising your second draft, you should clarify the scope and purpose for this revision. For this second draft, I urge you to focus on what are called "Global" issues in your paper, and not worry (yet) with "Local" concerns. Global issues are more big picture related to the content and meaning of your paper like how well you are following the assignment, the thesis, your approach to your audience and purpose, the organization, and the development of support. What you don't want to focus on at this point is grammar. These local concerns are at the sentence and word level. Don't concern yourself (yet) with perfect punctuation, having the perfect word or phrasing, or if you have sentence fragments or not.

I don't want to imply that grammatical correctness and clear, concise sentences are not important, but by ignoring them at this point (as much as you can), it enables you to focus on these more fundamental parts of your essay and develop them without the weight of having to have it all correct which can stifle your creativity and problem-solving and also take a lot of time. Focusing now on developing your content enables you with the next draft to turn your attention to local issues and not focus on content.

Thus, as you approach your Development Draft (i.e. your 2nd draft), I urge you to follow these three steps: assess your draft, review what needs to be improved, make revisions

Assess the Draft--Put it Through a Stress Test
Getting feedback from peers, a tutor, or a teacher is VERY helpful and important when reviewing drafts because as authors we are so close and involved in our own text that we miss things. We lack perspective. Also, the credo of technical communicators and software developers "You are not your user" rings true for us as authors as well. We are not our readers, so we need to "test" our draft out on readers to help see what is working and what it not. As you self-review your draft as well, step back and take as objective a view of your draft as possible.

Below is a list of concerns and questions to guide you as you evaluate your draft. Because each paper is different, this list will be incomplete, but it covers the most common and significant thing to review and evaluate about drafts. As you gain more experience writing papers and knowing what you are looking for in a good essay, you may not need to run through this list, but as a developing writer, you will find this checklist helpful to prompt you to review key areas and high-level concepts in your paper.

Review the Concepts and Ideas in the Draft

  • Look again at the original assignment--check if you are adequately (and fully) addressing the question/task and requirements of the assignment and the writing situation.

  • Examine your piece in light of audience and purpose.
    • Do you have a clear sense of WHO you are writing to?
    • Is your purpose or desired effect toward this audience clear?
    • How well are you accomplishing your goal with this audience?
    • How are you addressing your audience and serving their needs as readers?

  • Take a close look at your thesis (main point).
    • Is the thesis clear? Is it really what you believe and want to say?
    • Can you sharpen and improve the phrasing of the thesis sentence?
    • Is it placed correctly (typically in the last sentence of the introduction paragraph)?
    • Is it one sentence and not two?

  • Review the Organization of the paper and how you are presenting your ideas.
    • Do you have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
    • Are the introduction and conclusion each one paragraph (typical for 2-10 page college papers)?
    • Do you have multiple paragraphs each reflecting Primary Supports for your thesis?
    • What is the order of these Primary Supports? Do you want to shift this order?

  • Review your Primary Supports for how well they truly support your thesis
    • Are any of these body paragraphs off topic?--not supporting the thesis?
    • Are any of these body paragraphs weak and either need to be replaced or improved?
    • Can you improve the phrasing of the transition sentences setting up each body paragraph as a primary support for the thesis?

  • Review the Development of Ideas in Your Paper
    • Check first to see whether you have enough Primary Supports for your thesis. Typically, that means at least three body paragraphs, each developing a separate Primary Support backing up the thesis.
    • Examine each Body paragraph for both the amount and quality of Secondary Support providing evidence to support the Primary Support. Do you see where you need more support? Do you see where you need better support?
    • Look at the sequence of your presentation of this Secondary Support in each Body paragraph. Do you want to shift the order of support?
    • Do you need to improve how well you integrate your quotes for evidence and meaning? This involves setting up before the quote the context of the quote as well as preparing the reader for what the quote might show or prove. After the quote, it involves a sentence clarifying the significance of the quote and connecting it as evidence for the claim.

Review What Needs to Be Improved--Make a Plan for Revision

After you have gone through your paper self-assessing it in terms of the items above, you should see things you can do to improve your essay. Before you dive into make these changes, I encourage you to do a reflective piece called a Writing Review. This is a type of brainstorming or invention exercise where you are explore you thinking about your paper and how to improve it. Here are the basic part of a Writing Review:

  • After re-reading your draft and self-assessing it in terms of the above items, what do you see that is working in your essay and what issues or problems does your draft have right now? Be specific.
  • Consider the feedback you have received and identify suggestions or insights into problems or solutions these responses provide.
  • Plan what you will do to revise the essay for the next draft. Be specific in terms of what needs to be done and how you will make the needed changes in the draft.

What will help enormously as you self-assess your draft and make decisions about what needs to be improved is a strong understanding of what I call "essay success." By essay success, I mean those features and characteristics in the writing that represent success for the assignment. Have you achieved your desired affect upon your intended audience? Have you met the specific learning goals of the assignment, especially those things you have been studying? If you have been studying how to write thesis statements or avoid run-on sentences, do you understand what a good thesis statement it? Do you know what run-ons are and how to avoid them? If you have been studying MLA Documentation, do you understand it and how to do it correctly?

Your instructor and your class materials have been working to clarify what "essay success" means for this particular assignment, so a crucial task to help you not only know what to revise but how to revise it is a good review of your understanding of different aspects of successful essays. Take time as needed to review the learning materials in your class, and you will not only identify problems in your writing more easily, but also know how to fix them.

 

Make Revisions--Write Your Change

As you move to revise your 2nd draft, you should be well-primed to make substantial changes to improve your draft. Remember not to get hung up on fixing grammar or on the details of MLA Documentation. You can worry about those things as you edit for the final draft. Focus for now on the content of your essay.

Your Writing Review should have helped you develop a good plan for revision. You can, of course, depart from that plan, but it should provide you direction for what to focus your revision efforts on. As you dig into the task of revising, I urge you to keep these things in mind:

  • Take your revisions one at a time.
  • Don't get hung up on grammar, but at the same time make any edits that come quickly. They key is not to approach this draft with an expectation that the grammar and documentation is in perfect shape.
  • Don't be afraid to go back to the drawing board as needed. This may mean going back to readings to develop a whole new section for your paper or going back to re-read the learning materials about some learning goal for the paper.
  • Be bold. You may see a radical revision that may improve your essay, but it you may hesitate to make such a major revision. In 90% of the cases, these bold changes will improve your essay. This radical revision may be changing your thesis or major parts of your support. While such radical revisions may mean an overhaul of major parts of your paper, these changes are worth the time and effort needed to make them.
  • Don't get too hung up on getting everything perfect or even fully developed. Remember that this is still a draft, so if there is a section or a sentence you are having trouble writing, just write in notations to yourself inside carets like <NEEDS BETTER SUPPORING QUOTE> or <BETTER CLOSING NEEDED>. These will be notes for things to focus on completing for the Final Draft.
  • Seek out additional help with your revisions either by working with a tutor, a peer, or your professor.

When you are done revising your Development Draft, remember that this document is STILL a draft. It is still a prototype that does not need to be perfect at this time. With this new beta version of your essay, you are ready to have it reviewed by peers, tutors, or your professor for additional feedback. This feedback will help you review your draft for needed improvements for the final draft (discussed in Approaching Final Drafts).

 

 

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